Politically happy

Its time to blog again. And the last few weeks I have been focusing on my ultimate bucket list. 7 items complete from 40, and I am leaving some of the easy ones for the hard times. I am certainly very pleased with myself. I have started to learn a musical instrument, taking professional lessons, not just copying on youtube, and sat down to watch E.T. Apparently its number 24 on the US film institutes top 100....  And gosh, when I complete a task on my bucket list, I feel great!

A headline caught my eye today - it was about the Liberal Democrats party conference in Bournemouth and how all the people are coming out so happy. Of course the "happy" buzz word caught my eye and I read the article. Misleading. But its true, your political inclinations are likely to make you happier. I got this from several studies that state if you vote conservative you are likely to be happier. I almost choked on my tea - all tory voters I know are miserable gits.  But apparently the measure is unfair, its a questionnaire and they all say they are happy. A new study out this year contradicts these studies and points out the flaws, you can't ask people if they are happy, you need to look for signs of it. So they look for signs, and the BBC news headline was right, liberal voters are happier than conservatives. This is based on interviews, photographs were people are smiling, linkedin articles that are being posted, tweets, etc. They looked for happy/sad buzz words then re-connected who they were coming from.  It's an interesting study, who would have thought your voting habits effect your overall happiness. Luckily, I vote liberal, so I am well on my way on being the straight and narrow happiness path.

Alone and Happy

Boohoo, I fail. I haven't blog for an age, and I only have myself and my laziness to blame for that. However, in the background I have been busy burrowing away at my happiness endeavours.  My pledges, how am I getting along with that?  I still fiddle too much with my phone - so I fail. I am probably sleeping more than I did before due to my extra long commute to work - so I fail again.  The chocolate I did reduce, binged again, but how am following the British Heart Foundations DeChox, and feeling fab - so one up for me.  To do lists - hmmm I seem to forget, but when I remember it does make me feel great. Being kind to others - certainly I do that more these days, so that's another one for me. Generally I think most people are beginning to feel happier as its heading towards spring, life evident poking from the ground and we are nearing the 13.9 degrees - the magic temperature. In addition, I have ticked off one thing on my ultimate to do list (40 things to do before I am 40) and got a full body massage, so although there is an absence online, happiness is very much on my radar.

It does bother me though as I was flicking through the happiness database about whether being married or single makes me happier that studies almost unanimously show that being married makes you happier. I tend to disagree on that notion for myself having sat on both sides of that fence.  I also wonder about my situation as a lone parent and look at the tiny blessings my daughter brings into my life and wonder if its her that makes me happier.  For those lone mothers reading this, being alone looking after children is certainly a challenge, and the sense of responsibility immense. However, I did find a study which addresses that and children do make single mothers happier than their childless counterparts.  It does acknowledge the challenges that lone parents face, but when a parent is alone with a child, that child becomes a focal point in the parents life. I can relate to that.

But although being a single parent makes you happy, and it makes me very happy, I know that I am faced with the stigma from society that brings me great unhappiness. The pity, or stereotypes I get from those around me, whether I know them or not doesn't just make me unhappy, it makes me furious.  The sympathetic looks of "there there, you'll find someone soon" enrages me, but it also saddens me and makes me think why do people say that? Is it envy? Or is it because marriage or cohabitation makes them happier?  And surely with the array of families now emerging in the 21st century, a single parent is quite tame?  I'll end it there before I keep ranting on and this turns from a happiness blog to a vent it out blog, and I guess I won't change society or how others see me. All I can do is have the confidence to just be me.

The Ultimate To Do List

I blogged a few months back about to do lists, and how it was something that made me really happy. I get great satisfaction ticking off things I have finished off - I am a finisher.  It was then that I got inspiration from my sister, a list of tasks that she would set herself, not boring household chores that I had on my to do list, she has swanky sexy stuff like buy a leather jacket and tell someone what you really think of them, and she gave herself a year to do them.

I saw her list and thought to myself "yes, I would like to do that" a sexy swanky list that I could acheieve, so here it is, my 40 things to do before I am 40.

Yes, I know I have maaaany years to go before I am 40 so I am pacing myself. I had to think hard of things I wanted to acheive. I am looking at this as an extension of my vision board, where am I going, what do I want to be in several years time. What do I want to try out that I haven't yet. Apparently they are called "bucket lists" and so I googled a few of them. Jump out of airplanes, hang off the Toronto tower, swim with dolphins.... not really my cup of tea.  According to the magazine cosmopolitan, I should "swim naked and let my lady parts float around" (really? mine will sink), "eat a whole cake" (done it, many times over), "spend more money than you should on vaccation" (don't we all do that anyway?) and "learn to make one full meal". Really? 40 and never made a meal, I knew that this was something I would have to do alone and search deep within.

So finally, after several weeks of compiling, emailing and consulting, the list is ready. In true scientific style, the ulitmate to do list is split into 9 segments that are

1) Shopping
2) DIY
3) Personal Development
4) Detox
5) Food
6) Travel
7) Money
8) Family/Friends
9) Community

Some aims are easy to do, but others are more difficult and will require some precision planning!!  I would share the list with you, but I won't - my mum reads my blog :-p