Visions for 2015

So, before I waffle on about happiness, databases, studies and proven concepts, I thought I would take out some time to finish off my vision board for 2015. Yes, its almost a month over due, but better late than never. In a previous blog, I discussed my vision board and how I felt it was instrumental in shaping my life in 2014 and help me take control of my life. So with that firmly in focus, the visions for 2015 are taking place. Here is my new board:

Unlike last years, this one, I think is quite feminine. There are obvious pictures of things I want to achieve this year (glamour is a very central theme), but other pictures were just quite random. This year, I also included quotes to keep me focused.

As I was cutting and sticking the last little bits and bobs after dinner last night, a curious little seven year old also wanted to know what I was doing, so I explained the vision board to her. Instantly she sat down beside me and started mauling magazines for pictures that she like. I want to share that with you too, my daughters vision board.

I looked at her creation and thought to myself there is alot I need to learn from that child - diamonds, sapphires and pearls being obviously her focus (why didn't I think of that!!). In either case, these are now being put up for both of us above our beds to ponder upon this upcoming year.  Lets see if our visions are realised.

sisterhood

I feel lucky to be a woman. Really I do. I know there is much gender inequality out there, and don't get me wrong, I am a feminist. But I still think we have special features that men just don't have - sisterhood.

Relationships that women have with other women fascinate me.  If I reflect upon my own life, my female friends are my rocks. Maybe its partly because I was brought up in a predominantly female household; the female relationships we form are special. Whether it be with family, friends, colleagues or neighbours. I have spent alot of time pondering over my own relationships with the women around me, and I have come to a conclusion: there are three catagories of female-female relationships.

The first - the inner circle. Of which there are just a very very few. Those people who probably know too much about your life. Those people you weep with, you rely on, you laugh with, you take criticism from. Those are the rare relationships, and every women for sure should have them. This inner circle seem never to upset you - even when they are your harshest critics.  Those are the people who make you happiest. And those are the people you need to keep close and invest in.

The second, the double edged sword. The women who you kind of say things to. But those also, after a long conversation, you leave feeling bad about yourself. And you don't really know how it all happened.  There is not much genuineness in their advice, you think they are your friend, but they are perhaps not. They are the predators who go for the kill. These are the women you have to stay clear from.

Then the third, the bitches. Never nice, always spiteful. Don't even go there and don't do it to yourself.

If the people around you are making you feel bad about yourself, then walk away. Life is too short.

Its the second group really that fascinates me. Why do us women do that to ourselves? Why are we just plain nasty to each other from time to time?  And its always the fattest of your friends who tells you you're fat, or the childless one who tells you how to raise your children, or the working mum who makes you feel guilty that you are working.  Is this just the way its always been?

I like to think not (the optomist in me!).  I like to think that there was a time, particularly in post-war Britain where women HAD to pull together and help each other and the bitching stopped. The reason, many husbands never came home, and there was no other choice. I turned to the internet to back my theory up, and was shocked at the responses. The close female relationship in category 1 is basically dead. Guardian, telegraph, its all there. Female friendships, of pure concern for each other is gone.

I, however, totally disagree, the female friend is still alive, I am the proof of that. And maybe thats why more and more people (or women) are unhappy, we have lost our close circle of friends. I certainly know that these people are central to my happiness project, so here I am reaching out to the world - stop being bitchy to your friends because you are insecure, because we all need that shoulder to lean on every now and then.