slim your way happy

Ok, so a recap on the milestones I have set myself so far:

1) be me
2) can't change others
3) sleep 8 hours a night
4) leave the phone alone
5) spend more time outdoors
6) invest in exercise

When reading articles on people and society, and happiness one thing that really strikes me when reading on other peoples journey's are the same phrases that I seem to read over and over "I would definetely be happier if I was slimmer".  I have pondered over this a lot, and I cannot judge for others if being slimmer will make you happier, but I guess I can be true to myself and analyse myself.

The first thing I did when trying to analyse this was look back at pictures of myself to remember what it was like when I was a few stones lighter, I did have a romantic notion that I was so much happier then. But photograph upon photograph... I was barely smiling.. actually I would go as far as saying I looked miserable.  The photos also triggered memories, the emotions that ran through me were that of sorrow and pain. Was I really that unhappy?

So, for me, being slimmer did not make me happy, there was too much unhappiness around me.  If I am totally honest, food is a very central part of my life, I love cooking, entertaining around food, eating out. Who am i kidding, I can't live on celery and detox juice? Maybe that was why I was so miserable before because I wasn't being me.  My suspicions are that when you are unhappy, its usually a complex array of events and never one thing, but dieting and not caring about food does contribute to my unhappiness. So here I am, being me. I am far happier now than I have ever been, even though the demands of my every day life are immense, far more than in the past.  So be me Zahra. Forget the no carb malachy and enjoy food.

However, saying that, another realisation that i have is that some foods don't make me happy, they leave me feeling bloated and lethargic.  The classics are chocolates and cakes. For that split second as you put it into your mouth, you get this moment of happiness. However for hours after, I have a feeling of unhappiness. With activities that give you both happiness and unhappiness, you need to decide how much of each you get and if its worth it. For chocolates and cakes its 1 minute of happiness vs 180 minutes of unhappiness. So here is my next happiness project, cut the cakes. Not because I want to slim myself down, but they don't make me feel good at all.  I am not going to cut them out completely, but cut them down to only twice per week.

Work Happy

Its been I while. I know. There are some topics on this blog that are going to be difficult to tackle, and I have been churning on how best to deliver these.  But for today, I am going to delve into parenting, or more importantly working parenting.

I have been critisised heavily over the years. "why bother having children if you're leaving them in childcare all day".  I honestly don't know how to answer these questions, and I find myself mulling over it again and again.  Then I get angry at myself for not have had a good answer for it, but I am always taken by surprise when its asked.  Yes, I am a working mother. I work full time and my child has been in the trusty hands of childcare since she was one.  I actually think that this has had a positive impact on her. Nursery taught her to fight for herself, to become independent, to play, to not watch tv all day, to eat healthily... all lessons that I think that will benefit her as an adult.  More importantly though, I also believe it has a positive impact on me.

I was reading on the net about working parents, and was shocked to find an article stating that 88% of working parents suffer from health problems, and are as follows:


 

It made me think carefully about how happy I am as a working parent. Afterall, 43% of working parents feel depressed, and 64% extreme fatigue.  I might feel stressed or under pressure during the mornings or evenings, but never what I would call extreme fatigue. I still am able to see friends, enjoy hobbies, tidy up.  Does being a working parent make me unhappy and was I wrong to pursue my education and career?

I've had many conversations about this. I see so many high flying women pack it all up for their families as the "kids need me".  These are personal choices, I can't tell you what is right or not.  But by thinking and contemplating.. no, I did the right thing. The positive impact my work has on my life makes me happy. The value I feel from my colleagues at work, the sense of achievement and the fact that I am investing in my childs future (i.e. being able to pay for their university fees) makes me think I am doing the right thing. Having been there on one year of maternity leave - I am pretty sure that staying at home would make me miserable.

I can do more at home. I know that currently I value the time I spend with my child and I feel we spend quality time together. We cook together, we eat together and spend lots of time chatting.  But from my daughters happiness checklist, she wants to play more, so I pledge to do that. Her happiness is also important to me. So here's my pledge, play more together. Even if its 15 minutes, I need to find the quality time to do what she wants to do. Every evening after dinner, we will spend time together where she chooses what we are to do.  I know whats coming up: hours of loom bands.