Yes, we are hard wired. I know that with myself, no matter how hard I try to be positive, when an emotion of disgust, shame, guilt, negativity, stress, anxiety, sadness, anger gets into my head, my head starts spinning. I start imagining scenarios and my thoughts go off in a tangent, the what ifs, the what coulds, the when wills......
I wanted to understand this phenomenon. I am pretty sure now, I am not the only one who experiences it. No matter how great my day has been, one snooty comment from one snooty mum at school and all I seem to focus on is the negative emotion.
Yes, this is a real emotion. We experience it (yes all of us) because our brains are hard wired that way. Its the way our brains keep us safe - we focus on the negative or alarming aspects of our lives to prepare ourselves for those scenarios. So what to do? Here is the three step solution:
1) Acknowledge to yourself this moment is difficult. This is the monumental point. When you acknowledge your difficulty, things instantly start to feel better. Scientifically, this acknowledgement down regulates the alarm centre of the brain and calms you down.
2) Investigate the difficulty. Work out if there is anything you need to do to improve it. Does it need a solution? Do you just need to time to get accustomed to it? Do you need to punch someone? I wouldn't recommend the later, it could land you in prison!
3) Cast the net. And what else. Did the negative aspect teach you something? Has it made you realise what is going on? What did you learn from it.
I think it makes sense. For me, the three step process is something I go through naturally, when I saw it written on paper it made sense. So your anger is normal. Embrace it. Learn from it.
I wanted to understand this phenomenon. I am pretty sure now, I am not the only one who experiences it. No matter how great my day has been, one snooty comment from one snooty mum at school and all I seem to focus on is the negative emotion.
Yes, this is a real emotion. We experience it (yes all of us) because our brains are hard wired that way. Its the way our brains keep us safe - we focus on the negative or alarming aspects of our lives to prepare ourselves for those scenarios. So what to do? Here is the three step solution:
1) Acknowledge to yourself this moment is difficult. This is the monumental point. When you acknowledge your difficulty, things instantly start to feel better. Scientifically, this acknowledgement down regulates the alarm centre of the brain and calms you down.
2) Investigate the difficulty. Work out if there is anything you need to do to improve it. Does it need a solution? Do you just need to time to get accustomed to it? Do you need to punch someone? I wouldn't recommend the later, it could land you in prison!
3) Cast the net. And what else. Did the negative aspect teach you something? Has it made you realise what is going on? What did you learn from it.
I think it makes sense. For me, the three step process is something I go through naturally, when I saw it written on paper it made sense. So your anger is normal. Embrace it. Learn from it.
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