happy happy birthdays

Birthdays are over rated. That is the biggest conclusion reached for 2015. I always have such high expectations for my birthday, that it will be an ace day. And those around me try, they really do. But always, year on year, around that time, unexpected things happen out of my control that makes it suck.

So it took me a while to order my thoughts after my birthday to get writing again and to blog about it.  My birthday should make me happy. But it didn't.. and if I reflect, it rarely ever does. Is it because I need to try harder? Or is it because I need to face facts, birthdays do not equate happiness.

This notion got me thinking more, so many people around me do things because they think it makes them happy, but it ultimately does not. I see families going on family holidays so we bond better... and they all come back miserable. I see friends rushing round to pack their kids weekends with activities, but the kids are then knackered and moan all evening making everyone miserable.  I see big weddings, everyone getting stressed, this is "supposed to make us happy", but the result, everyone has fallen out and barely speaking to each other on the big day.  We look around us when seeking happiness, seeing what makes others happy and we start to imitate in the hope that this will fulfil our happiness.  That's ok, we only know and learn if we try. However we have to get to a point where we admit to ourselves some of things we are doing are not making us happy any longer, and to move on.  So part of the happiness project really is digging deep and admitting, birthdays might make some people happy, and might be the nicest days of the year for some, but not for me.

Catching on

The wheels of happiness pursuit is slowly taking off again, and although I've been absent for a while, happiness and well being are firmly in my pursuit path.

I've made some progress with the ultimate to do list but panic is starting to set in. Days away from my 37th birthday, I know I will have to pull out the stops to get all 40 items done before the big 4.0 creeps up. The category of "shopping" is complete, but perhaps that was the low hanging fruit. The "detox" category has also progressed well. But I still need to find the time to exercise my culinary cuisines and to work on my personal development.

Being a woman, I always doubt myself. I doubt my own abilities and successes, and I am sure this resonates with other women. Men don't have this problem from what I see. They have absolute conviction in themselves and often will over sell themselves. So doing the woman thing, I doubt this whole project and pursuit often and wonder if I'm just setting myself up for failure. And it was a little glimmer of hope that I stumbled along that I want to share with you, that has put me back on that path of well being. Here it is:

 

I found this in my daughters notebook a while back, and its her ten things to do before shes ten. I don't really speak to her about my happiness project, but she hears conversations I have with various people about it. Maybe its crazy for a 7 year old to have a to do list. Or maybe shes learning some lessons that will help her prosper in life. But it made me realise that when you publicly declare your own pursuit for happiness, you inevitably motivate those around you to think about it in some way of form. So surely there is benefit in that. I will let you know in 15 years time if my happiness pursuit helped my daughter. In the meantime, a phone before you're ten, over my dead body!