The Backlash

Its been one month since my last blog.  Not because I have been distracted or lazy. But I faced a backlash. Yes, you heard it right, my happiness project came under scrutiny and criticism and I was confronted and judged on every word written.

Believe it or not, this blog is not connected to any single person or group of persons. I was shocked and horrified to think that people have been reading it and making analogies to themselves. Its not about you. Its based on observations of my life and those around me. Again, its not about you.

So I made a firm decision to end my blog, as it was causing my pain and unhappiness, and hence my silence.  However, it was only after talking to a dear person that I changed my mind. I was asked what happened to my blog, and I described the backlash, then I started to say why it is I got the backlash. And as the words left  my mouth, I realised I could not end the blog.

Why would anyone be so upset about my happiness project? Is it really because they think its all about them? Or is it a general resentment to my happiness project?  And that's when it hit me, its the actual project? Perhaps these individuals are unhappy? They are unable to change their lives? Or to take control of their happiness or destiny? Or maybe that is what they perceive, and that is why the backlash.  Your happiness and your lives are in your hands, there is no such thing as a doomed situation. Don't critise my quest for happiness, you too can do the same.

So the blog is back on. Frankly  my advise is this: if you don't like what I write, don't click on the link

phone-happy

I have lots of ideas for my happiness project, but the ideas are swimming around in my head and it was difficult for me to decide on what to write. It all came to a crunch when a very good friend of mine gave me an article in a magazine about happiness and all of a sudden it all became clear.....

So listen up, this is the happiness checklist according to Professor Happiness himself, Paul Dolan:

1) Don't spend on consumer items, spend on experiences. Money never brings people the satisfaction they imagine.

2) Know when to give up on a relationship. Tell them its over and there is no prospect of your ever going out with them again.

3) Surround yourself with people who bring you joy. Social contact makes us happy.

4) Never, ever make facebook your homepage.

5)Volunteer. A structured form of social contact based around being nice makes us happiest of all.

6) Minimise distractions. Multitasking makes you less productive.

7) Become a neophile, a lover of new activities.

I would add another 20 things to this list, but its a good start point and actually there is one that i want to focus on that kind of relates to my last post - number 6: Minimise distractions.

So how is my sleep going from my last blog. Badly. I am shattered. 7 hours are just not enough, and to be honest the last 2 days I have been sleeping 8 hours a night. I started to reflect upon the 4 hours that were proposed by highly effective people. Did they have a nap at lunch? Do they have a full on life with kids to care for, housework to do?  And what is the long term effect of so little sleep? So I decided to go back to my first golden rule, be me. I am going back to 8 hours of sleep.  When I am less tired, I am certainly happier.

And the phone? That is not going well either. I am having phone withdrawal symptoms. I feel some void in the night when I can't fiddle with my phone. But I have actually come to realise that my phone is point number 6, the biggest distraction in my life.  Given that I was so reluctant to get a smartphone because I am NOT a neophile, now I have had one for a few years, I am obsessed with it. Not good. So for the nights: Phone - you are still banished to the outer realms of my living room.

My phone is a distraction both in day and night. Although we have strict rules at home about phones at dinner time (a total no no), I do find myself leaping at its beckon call everytime it beeps. Really, do I need to know ever single email as it arrives? Or facebook like?  I am a slave to my phone. The distraction it induces prevents me from doing other things. So, new rule. At work, the phone is staying in the bag. Work colleagues, you are not testament to this. If you need to contact me between 9am-5pm, use my good old fashioned office phone!!